Do you need to get a better handle on anger management? Pressure from your job, a sharp disagreement with your spouse, your child’s misbehavior, another “idiot who doesn’t know how to drive”, are all scenarios that might cause you to lose your temper.
Getting angry on occasion is normal, but if you get so angry so often that it is hindering your work, relationships and/or physical health, you probably have a problem.
I should know. Years ago, anger used to be my constant companion. Now, it only emerges its ugly head when I’m feeling vulnerable and on edge, but when it shows up, you better get out of the way! Most of the time, though, I can sense it coming, in which case I reach into my anger management toolbox it before it gets out of control.
What causes anger?
Anger is generally considered a secondary emotion. Fear, sadness, and feeling out of control can lead to anger.
However, a person who has a chronic anger problem may also have some sort of chemical imbalance in the body, such as deficiency of the B vitamins or a hormonal imbalance (too much testosterone in men, or too much estrogen relative to the amount of progesterone in women).
Anger management tips
If you have a problem with anger, consider trying these five steps the next time you’re about to explode.
1. Take a deep breath and hold it. If you’re not breathing, you won’t scream, and you likely won’t begin to thrash around. It also gives you a moment to decide whether you’re going to calm down and act like the rational adult you usually are, or throw a fit.
2. Consider the pain your words and behavior are about to inflict on those around you. Seeing his mommy fly off the handle frightens my son, and the last thing I want is for him to be afraid of me. During that moment of holding your breath, ask yourself: “Will I regret my angry reaction in ten minutes? Will my reaction really resolve the situation?”
Remember also that words can never be taken back. Whatever you say (or scream) in a moment of anger will have a deleterious effect on your relationship with any other person involved in the situation.
3. Sing. Yes, everyone else in the room may look at you as though you’ve lost your mind. You will probably feel foolish, at least the first few times. And maybe you can’t carry a tune in a bucket. But opening your mouth and singing will do two things: first, it will keep you from cussing like a sailor and screaming like a monkey; and two, it will help you feel better.It may even make you laugh. I used this technique back in my schoolteacher days, and the kids always got a great kick out of watching me sing opera.
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4. Take a time out. If you’re angry with a child, ask him or her to go to another room for five minutes so you can find your good mood again. If you’re angry with another adult, excuse yourself for a while until you can think about the incident without the feeling welling back up again.
5. Get a new perspective on the reactive situation. Ask yourself, will it matter next year? Next month? Tomorrow? If not, let it go. If it is something that needs to be addressed with another person, use an I message: “I get upset when people outside of my family ask me personal questions.” “It makes me scared when I see children trying to cross the street without permission because a car could hit them.”
I-messages keep from blaming the other person and give you the responsibility for your feelings.
Supplements that can help with anger management
My issues with anger decreased even further once I started taking Masaji, a superfood juice supplement that is high in B vitamins and many other nutrients. Visit this page for more information.
Still, I was experiencing powerful mood swings. Once I discovered my progesterone levels were low, I started using Venus essential oil blend which balances female hormones. It works! The next test showed that my progesterone levels were back up to par.
Also, applying lavender essential oil on the temples and back of your neck, or taking a couple drops of rosemary oil on your tongue, are great anger management techniques. You will notice a difference in your mood in about five minutes.
Because almost all other essential oil companies compromise the integrity of their product in some way, I only recommend one brand of essential oil, Be Young. Visit this page to find out why.
No one wants to hang around a chronically angry person. Make anger management a habit, and it will soon become second-nature and anger will no longer be your constant companion.