Homeschooling a preschooler – even if you’re doing it the “life learning” way – definitely has its challenges. Especially when the child in question is an Only, and is constantly demanding attention from Mommy and Daddy.

Here are five preschool activity suggestions that can help you fill those long days when you strive for that delicate balance between managing the household and keeping your Little Explorer busy.

1. Puppet shows

One puppet is enough; two or three can make this preschool activity even more fun. Spend about fifteen minutes having the puppet either talk with your child, or you can tell a story using the puppets. Make one up to highlight an event from earlier in the day or week, or perform an actual children’s story or fairy tale.

2. Arts and crafts

An online search will quickly bring up tons of websites with all sorts of craft ideas to do with your preschooler. The cheapest ones, of course, are the ones that are made of mostly reused materials you already have lying around the home.

Set aside at least thirty minutes for these kinds of activities.

3. Music time

By now, your child has shown definite preference in music CD’s. Take fifteen to thirty minutes a day to dance, sing or play percussion instruments with your preschoolers while the music plays.

4. Learn a foreign language

Now is the second-best time to introduce your preschooler to a second language (the best time is at birth). Don’t worry if you’re not fluent in a second language yourself; there are plenty of child-oriented CDs and DVDs that easily allow children and parents to learn together.

In out home, we have no need to set aside a time to practice another language, as I have been speaking Spanish to our son since he was around sixteen months old. If you need to set aside time to do this, plan on fifteen minutes. Expand the time if your child wants to continues.

5. Read together, read together, read together.

Sitting your child in front of a Reading Rainbow DVD does NOT count.

The preschool years present a wonderful opportunity to develop a solid bond between child and parent. Throw two or three of the above preschool activities into your day, and marvel how much more fulfilling and joyful the time spent homeschooling your preschooler becomes.

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I have written about the joys and glories of raised bed gardening, particularly Mel Bartholomew’s square foot gardening method. It comes with a lot of benefits, such as requiring less weeding and having easier- to-drain soil then beds existing on the ground, in the native soil.

But a couple weeks ago, I was looking up pest information in an old container gardening book, and some other information caught my eye. The information about plants in containers being less susceptible to slugs and snails. The information that you can better provide for the watering and fertilization needs of individuals plants when they grow in containers (especially tomatoes).

In addition, my back has gotten tired lately of bending down and twisting around to check my babies for aphids. The idea of having plants up at knee or even waist level appealed to me more and more. And after having several baby spinaches liberally chewed upon – despite the diatemacecous earth I have been diligent about spreading around my greens – not having to worry about slugs and snails has become even more appealing.

There was only one thing standing between me and my desire to transition to container-grown veggies and fruits: my husband, Jerry. After all, pots and potting soil cost money. Although I have a few pots, and can take some of the soil from my existing raised beds because they are filled with potting soil and finished compost, eventually I would have to spend a good chunk of change to fulfill my new container gardening vision.

Since during the past year or so I’ve made a few spending decisions that ended up not bearing any fruit, I wasn’t sure if I should even bring the subject up with Jerry. Besides, we’d already spent all that money buying landscaping bricks to use as the perimeters of the raised beds.

A few days ago, I discovered Smart Pots, and got even more turned on to container gardening. Later that day at the park, I confessed to Jerry that I’d been thinking about the change. One reason, I explained, is that I want to start a fall garden this year (thank God for warm climates!), and as I would still have plenty of plants in the raised beds providing food, I wouldn’t have much room to plant my fall plants there.

Jerry accepted that logic, so I went a step further.

“You know, I’d really rather grow spinach and lettuce in pots, because then I don’t have to worry about slugs.”

Then I started singing the praises of the Smart Pots, how they’re lightweight, made of natural material, allow for root aeration, etc. (I discovered the next day that Smart Pots are comparable in price to plastic pots, which was even better.) A few minutes into our conversation, Jerry said, “I’ve always liked the idea of using containers for growing vegetables.”

Turns out, if I had let him had a say back when I first asked him to build the raised beds, he would have pushed for containers. Mainly, he likes the fact that you can move them around. He even came up with a couple of ideas of how I could grow lettuce inside in the summertime.

Isn’t it great when your spouse agrees with you long before realize it? I prefer it to arguing and persuasion any day.

Eventually, around 85% of our crops will be grown in containers (I want to keep melons and pumpkins sprawling on the ground). Organic gardening is a must for anyone serious about eating nutritious food. Raised bed gardening will save you a lot of headaches. But in the final analysis, the ease of container gardening wins the day (for me, anyway ).

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Growing your own food is one way to get healthier. To learn all of the basic lifestyle principles that will help you lose weight, reduce your susceptibility to illnesses, and dramatically decrease your risk of developing disease, check out the “Eat Well, Live Well” online course. It might just save your life…or add a few healthy years to it.

If you’re wondering how to discipline a child – your child – effectively, you are not alone. Contradictions and controversies rein in the Western world of discipline techniques. Spanking or positive discipline? Gentle discipline or rewards and punishment?

While recently reading the book Healthy at 100 by John Robbins, the last thing I expected to find was a statement about child discipline. But in the very first chapter, while writing about the people of Abkhasia – an area of the former Soviet Union next to the Black Sea – Robbins strongly implies that the way Abkhasians treat their children may contribute to the vibrant health and longevity of their elders.

Here it is, taken straight from page seventeen of the book (he quotes from Sula Benet’s 1974 book Abkhasians: The Long Living People of the Caucasus ):

I also think the way children are raised in Abkhasia has much to do with the kind of elders they eventually grow up to become. Having lived many years in the United States and several years in Abkhasia, Sula Benet was struck by the way Abkhasian children behave and the way they are treated:

I never heard a child cry in protest or a parent raise his voice or threaten spanking. A command is never repeated twice. As a teacher of fidgety American youth, I marveled at Abkhasian schoolchildren who…sit at attention for hours. Such miraculous results are not motivated by fear.

Abkhasian parents never scold or nag, and they never criticize or punish their children. How, you may wonder, do they get their children to behave properly? Benet explains:

Abkhasian parents express disapproval by withholding praise, which is otherwise very generously dispensed. The Abkhasian concept of discipline, considered necessary and good for children, is not intertwined with the concept of punishment. Abkhasians feel that physical punishment induces disrespect….The Abkhasian method of discipline does not allow for the development and expression of even the mildest forms of sadistic impulse….With no threat of punishment…they young never express resentment. It gradually became apparent to the author that they do not feel resentment.

On page eighteen, Robbins goes on to comment:

Abkhasians are consistently respectful of their bodies and the bodies of others. They never physically punish children, adults or animals. This may help explain why domestic violence is almost entirely unknown in Abkhasia, as is rape.

What a novel concept. Treat kids with respect and they will grow up respecting themselves and other people. How different the United States of America could be…

PS to those of you who are vehemently disagreeing with me because “spanking is the Bible”: read this article at http://askdrsears.com and this one at http://gentlechristianmothers.com.

PPS: If you know you discipline your children out of anger, you may have nutritional deficiencies that are sparking the negative emotions. The antioxidant supplement Masaji may help you as it helped me.

Today I bring you guest author Stephanie Lehane, who touches on the three biggest components of attachment parenting and why they are important for not only the baby, but even the whole family.

Attachment Parenting: Parenting in a Detached Society

There is a modern-day debate surrounding a centuries old practice that has been coined “attachment parenting”. To first understand the controversy, one must define the term attachment parenting. Attachment parenting is a way of child-rearing that serves as a guideline, rather than a rulebook, for parents to better understand the non-verbal communication they receive from their infants, babies, and children. At odds with this concept is the parenting style popularized at the beginning of the twentieth century and passed down for several generations since.

The three main modalities of attachment parenting as they relate to infants and babies are breastfeeding, babywearing, and co-sleeping. It seems the mere mention of any or all of these invites a plethora of advice and opinion. In the face of all of the scientific data pointing toward breastfeeding as the best form of nutrition for babies, women of previous generations will often advise that new mothers bottle-feed. This same troupe of well-intended matriarchs often tends to rally behind the concept that a baby, even an infant, can be spoiled. And of course nursing mothers who opt to co-sleep with their infants receive dire warnings of increased risk for SIDS and children who will be in high school still climbing into bed with mom and dad. Yet, for centuries, mothers out of instinct and necessity carried, cuddled, breastfed, and co-slept with their babies. It wasn’t until the advent of modern medicine and the advancements of science that mothers began to question their innate sensibilities in favor of advice from professionals, typically men, who would tell them that there is a new and improved way to raise a healthy baby.

THE CONTROVERSY

Breastfeeding

All mammals nurse their young. So why is this form of feeding and nurturing human babies controversial and how and when did it come under attack? To be sure, breastfeeding mothers have an easier time avoiding stares and unsolicited advice when they choose to feed their babies in public today than they did a decade ago. But some stigma still exists as a throwback to a more puritan, sterile era where doctors and formula companies alike, worked to convince society that not only was formula a better choice for babies, bottle-feeding was a more modest option for women. The first commercial baby formula was invented in 1860 by Henri Nestle in Switzerland and became popularized during the Industrial Revolution when women were leaving the home to work in factories. Bottle feeding reached its height in popularity during World War II with only 20-30% of women in the U.S. breastfeeding at all. Many women still choose to bottle feed their babies today as it is seen as a more convenient method, in spite of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ current recommendation to exclusively breastfeed infants for six months and continue to nurse through age one. However, breastfeeding is gaining in popularity during the Information Age where modern parents are growing confident in its overwhelming benefits for both baby and mother. According to renowned pediatrician and father of eight, Dr. William Sears, not only is breast milk a sound nutritional choice, but the act of breastfeeding itself encourages the bond between mother and child. In order to become successful at breastfeeding, mothers must be able to interpret baby’s cues and trust in their own instincts. Mothers become child-centered and focus on their babies’ needs and how to meet them. Likewise, baby is able to tap into and interpret her mother’s social signals and trust that her needs will be met. A symbiotic relationship develops wherein both parties to the breastfeeding partnership must ebb and flow together. Breastfeeding is often viewed as the first and most important aspect of attachment parenting.

Babywearing

Babywearing in all its various forms dates back to the origins of recorded history. Anthropologists have uncovered ancient etchings depicting women carrying their babies wrapped in cloth as they worked, walked, and cared for older children. Across cultural lines, many methods of wearing babies exists and a recently there has been a resurgence in popularity in the developed world. However, around the same time as breastfeeding began to decline, so did the art and practice of babywearing, particularly in the West, and for the same reasons. Mothers began to listen to the advice of their doctors who explained that holding and carrying their babies too much would lead to spoiled babies. All sorts of inventions and devices, such as strollers and playpens, began to emerge as places for women to put their babies so as not to spoil them. It took only a couple of generations to figure out that the opposite is actually true. Babies who don’t receive enough tactile stimulation from being held are less organized, cry more, and in extreme cases experience “failure to thrive” which means they do not grow and develop as they should. Recently, a Motrin ad was pulled because of the backlash from a new generation of babywearing moms and dads offended at the ads suggestion that babywearing is a new fad, something done to be seen as trendy and fashionable. These parents opine that carrying baby close to them is not only convenient, but is a wonderfully fulfilling way to build a bond with their baby. There are several different styles of babywearing devices such as slings, pouches, wraps and carriers and in some areas parents can find consultants to help them decide which style is best for them and their lifestyle.

Co-sleeping

This is perhaps the most controversial of all of the different areas of attachment parenting. Certainly, it may seem odd to western parents used to the concept of creating a separate nursery for baby, complete with crib, changing table, dresser, and rocking chair. Historically, co-sleeping, or the practice whereby infants, babies, and/or children sleep in the same bed with their parents, has been a common practice worldwide. Since the nineteenth century, this practice has decreased in popularity in North America, Europe, and Australia as separate sleeping arrangements became affordable and desirable. Among the reasons opponents of co-sleeping cite in favor of separate sleeping arrangements are the possibility that a parent could roll over and inadvertently crush or suffocate her baby, increased risk of SIDS, and the inability of older babies and children to become independent and sleep alone. However, recent research has shown significant benefits to babies and parents who co-sleep. Studies have shown that co-sleeping may actually reduce the risk of SIDS due to the baby mirroring his mothers breathing and sleep-cycle patterns. This is because a major factor in SIDS deaths may be the inability of babies to regulate their breathing, thereby actually “forgetting” to breathe. Additionally, babies in the family bed experience shorter and fewer deep-sleep states. This is important because prolonged states of deep sleep, such as occur after long bouts of crying or sleeping alone, are potentially another major cause of SIDS. (Note: co-sleeping is not recommended when parents smoke, use drugs or alcohol, or are obese). But the number one benefit proponents of co-sleeping cite is more sleep for all. The family bed may be particularly convenient for breastfeeding mothers who can easily resume nursing until both mother and child drift peacefully back to sleep. These mothers point out that there is no awakening to the piercing cries of a hungry baby, frightened and alone, adrenaline pumping for all as bottles are warmed and parents attempt to stay awake to feed him, only to have him re-awaken when returned to a cold crib sheet.

So it seems that modern parents are beginning to embrace the wisdom of ancient times. As tightly-knit communities wane in favor of loosely-knit networks, individuals are more connected and yet more alone. The paradox of today’s society is that it is both easier and more difficult than ever to be a successful parent. There is more information available to parents than at any time in history. Yet, information comes at a price: if not careful, it can take the place of instinct. In the end, the best approach for parents is to read, research, and understand available parenting methods and then trust themselves and their babies to do what is best.

Ref. Baby Matters, Dr. Linda Palmer

Askdrsears.com, Dr. William Sears

Breastfeeding in a Bottle Feeding Culture, Tina Rychlik

Wikipedia

About the Author:

Stephanie Lehane holds a B.Sc. in Business Management and has managed home-based businesses as well as mid-sized firms in the fields of transportation, real estate, direct sales and online retail. She is a work from home mother to four children aged 7 months to 14 years.

www.stephanielehane.com

www.theslingshoppe.com

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Attachment Parenting: Parenting in a Detached Society

That I would homeschool my son was a no-brainer decision for me, a former school teacher who grew early on in my career to despise the tragic limitations educational institutions place upon our children’s minds and gifts. That I would let Benjamin mostly lead the way in his learning (mixing the Charlotte Mason and unschooling philosophies) has been a relatively recent decision.

However, when I was teaching Kindergarten I observed a couple of Montessori classrooms in action. I couldn’t have been more impressed. I witnessed three-year-olds naming states, four-year-olds forming words with sandpaper letters, and five-year-olds multiplying. I subsequently spent close to $300 on three different Montessori early childhood items, which are now sitting in a closet upstairs, just waiting for Benjamin to turn three.

As he has. But herein lies the quandry: a few months ago, I read a book by Dr. Raymond Moore, known as “The Grandfather of Homeschooling.” In it, he states that several Ivy League University studies have shown that children do best academically…

…if they are not introduced to formal academics until at least age eight. One study concluded that children under TWELVE years of age should not be formally schooled.

Okay, so on the one hand I’ve got $300 of early childhood Montessori materials, based on the successful experiences of Maria Montessori with poor Italian children. And on the other hand I’ve got Dr. Moore telling me that children’s brains aren’t fully ready to learn formal mathematics and reading until they are at least eight years old.

Is one of them wrong?

I’ve thought about this question a lot lately, and here are my conclusions, based on the facts as well as my own experience as a teacher:

1. Every child is different.

Some kids are ready for different skills earlier than others. Even in the same homeschooling family, you can find one child who started reading independently at age five, and another who didn’t crack the code until age twelve.

2. Children’s play is their work.

Will someone please tell me why we want to rob our young ones of their childhood by forcing them to sit in desks and do paper-and-pencil tasks all day long? Even some European countries don’t have mandatory education for children younger than age seven. One of the things in Moore’s book that absolutely floored me was the fact–never told to either prospective or actual teachers, by the way–that children who just begin learning arithmetic or reading after age ten are completely caught up with their schooled peers in just a year or two.

Stated differently, a child who begins reading drill instruction at age five spends seven grueling years getting up to a seventh grade reading level, whereas a child who doesn’t start learning to read until age ten spends only two years mastering the skill.

3. The Montessori Method is geared toward a young child’s brain.

The materials as well as instruction style of a competent Montessori teacher incorporates freedom; movement; and tactile, concrete experiences. No child is forced to practice a “work” that they are not ready for, and the “works” have a strong sense of game-playing about them. Yes, the Montessori Method teaches academics, but they are far from formal.

In other words, no, in my studied opinion, one of them is not wrong.

So what does all this mean as far as homeschooling my son? I’ve made four decisions:

1. I will begin to introduce the Montessori materials I have, and see if he takes an interest.
2. If he’s not interested, I will not force the issue, and wait six months and try again.
3. We (Jerry and I) will continue to read to him many times daily, and take advantage of teachable moments.
4. I will let Benjamin enjoy his childhood to the fullest, and let my Mommy intuition and cues from Benjamin alert me as to when he’s ready for the abstracts of academics.

Recommended reading:
The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook
Better Late Than Early: A New Approach to Your Child’s Education
A Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on the Gentle Art of Learning
Teaching Montessori in the Home: Pre-School Years: The Pre-School Years

Ah, winter. A time of gifts and carols. Of snowfalls and snowballs. Of ice-covered trees and frosted windowpanes.

A time to curl up on the couch and lose precious brain cells while staring at a large, flickering screen filled with images that do absolutely nothing to help you improve your marriage, bond with your kids, or fulfill your purpose in life.

Now, before you start throwing snowballs at me, let me tell you that I used to be a T.V. addict, spring, summer, winter and fall. And I understand that some evenings you just don’t feel like doing  anything else other than to veg in front of the T.V.

Doing so once in a while is fine. But doing it every night is good for neither your health nor your relationships. So before we get too deep into the winter season, I would like to offer you a few activities you can do with your family during the chilly evenings, instead of T.V.

1. Read.

If you have preschool and younger children, read together. If not, you can read individually, then after a set time come back together as a family and share what you have read. This page is a good start to finding age-appropriate books for your children.

2. Be musical.

Put on a CD and dance, or sing along. Eric Herman is amusing for kids of all ages. 100 Singalong Songs for Kids
is a treasure trove of children’s songs.

You might also sing songs your entire family knows a cappella. Experiment with musical instruments. Etc.

3. Play age-appropriate board games.

Sorry and Candyland will do, as well as Chinese Checkers and plain old checkers. But how about trying a spin on an old favorite? Bug-Opoly, for example. Or Wild Animalopoly and Garden- Opoly.

4. Do an art activity.

Paint with watercolors or tempera, or make a craft together.

5. Play indoor sports

Push the furniture against the wall, lay out some rules, and play a game of soccer with a light ball. Or make basketballs out of waste paper and shoot “baskets” into a trash receptacle.

Pick one of these activities and try it tonight. I guarantee it will bring a lot more fun and comradery to your family than watching T.V.

Is natural childbirth something every pregnant woman should strive for? Today I bring to you a guest writer, Sheila Baskerville, to answer that question.

Is Natural Childbirth Right For You?

Author: Sheila Baskerville

If you are pregnant, it is important that you plan ahead regarding your expectations for the birth of your child. You may have noticed a lot of interest in natural childbirth lately. Perhaps you’ve heard about it from other parents or seen the many programs on your cable channel that focus on pregnancy and childbirth . Read on to learn more about natural birthing to see if it might be the right choice for you.

What is Natural Childbirth?
Natural childbirth is the process of having a baby without using medications or surgery. Some people may take it so far as to describe it as a birth without any interventions at all. While this is seen as radical by some people, it can truly be a beneficial process to both mother and baby.

Advantages of Natural Childbirth for Both Mom & Baby
There are many advantages to natural childbirth.

• Many women feel more in control and empowered during the birthing process as they can move around freely, and eat and drink as desired.
• Most comfort measures used in natural childbirth, such as massage, water immersion and acupressure, are non-invasive, so there are no side effects for you or baby. Instead of feeling groggy, which can happen with some pain management medications, you remain alert.
• Your natural hormones can flow as nature intended, preparing both you and your baby for birth.
• If your partner wants to be involved, there is more for them to do during natural childbirth. They can rub your back, be a stable person to lean on during contractions, and help you with positive affirmations.
• Because pain medications that you take during labor can pass through to the baby, natural childbirth allows your baby to be more alert once he or she is born. They are able to actively nurse, and make eye contact with you and your partner. Beginning the breastfeeding process may be easier when baby is alert and responsive after a natural birth.

Disadvantages of Natural Childbirth
Comfort measures used in natural childbirth do not remove pain; they only reduce your perception of it. It is up to you to learn how to work with your labor pains. If you have complications, it may become impossible to have a natural birth since many interventions that may be required may increase your pain. In long labors, you could become exhausted and need more assistance. Natural childbirth is hard work that must be prepared for ahead of time.

Pain Management in Natural Childbirth
There are many ways to manage your labor pains in natural childbirth.

• Changing positions is a great way to manage the pain.
• Staying upright and active can also help since lying flat in bed can be a quite painful position to labor in.
• Practicing breathing, visualization and meditation.
• Using hypnosis techniques can be very effective.
• Using a tub of water or the shower can help, since the feeling of the water on your skin can compete with pain messages being sent to your brain.
• Massage techniques such as effleurage, which is a light, stroking touch, can also send these competing messages. The brain can only process so much at one time, and messages sent from the skin will arrive faster than internal messages.
• Hot or cold packs, acupressure, and other comfort measure techniques can help you relax, send competing messages to the brain, and help you cope with the pain.
• Having someone to support you can go a long way in helping you deal with pain. Whether this is your partner, a family member or friend, or professional labor support, having someone there to support you and help out is very comforting.

Midwives & Doulas
Hiring a doula or midwife to assist at your birth can help you succeed at natural childbirth. A trained doula can lower the incidence of pain medication use and surgical birth, according to studies.

Hiring a midwife as your care provider can help as well. Midwives are trained in normal birth techniques. They are less likely to resort to high tech measures, especially if you are birthing in at home or in a birth center.

As you prepare for your own labor, remember that childbirth is not a contest. Things may change and your birth may not end up as you anticipated. Be prepared to go with the flow and respond to circumstances as they arise while heeding the advice of your health care provider. Ultimately, the health and well-being of you and your child should be of the utmost importance.

About the Author:

Sheila Baskerville is a CPA and mother of 3 children. For more information on natural, organic baby products and eco-friendly parenting tips, visit Natural-Organic-Baby.com. Get helpful tips delivered straight to you. To sign up for your free monthly newsletter, visit The Go Natural & Organic Baby! E-zine.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Is Natural Childbirth Right For You?

By the time Benjamin was around two years old, I had a feeling he was going to be what some label as a “strong-willed child.” Now, in all of his three-year-old glory, I’m not sure he’s as much strong-willed as he is what I think of as a “live wire”: full of energy, in constant motion, and requiring  careful but firm action to get him to slow down.

In short, he drives me crazy half the day.

However, after several months of experimenting with various discipline methods, I have found several child discipline techniques that help our home to stay relatively peaceful. So following are five ways to discipline a “live wire” child, particularly toddlers and preschoolers.

1. Set and maintain firm boundaries.

No matter how well-behaved and “nice” you think your child is, if you give him an inch, he will take a mile. Take it from a former schoolteacher. Not letting your child do something one day, then changing your mind the next simply because you’re too tired or busy to “deal with it” is a recipe for chaos. Draw the boundary lines, then consistently make sure your child does not cross those lines. Remind your little one not to cross the line. And if he does, be sure to issue appropriate consequences.

2. Involve him in your activity.

If I can find ways for Benjamin to “help”–or even just watch–me as I carry out various tasks, he is a lot less likely to get into trouble. At the same time, he is learning important life skills, such as loading the dishwasher and making nut butter in the food processor.

3. Involve yourself in her activity.

Is your young one the only one at home with you? She will be much more productive–and much less destructive–during her play time if you spend a few minutes several times a day getting at her level and playing with her.

4. Use Love And Logic statements.

I’m finding this works a lot better at three than two, since a three-year-old brain is more capable of making decisions. Examples of such statements include, “You can not throw your blocks downstairs, or you can go to your room and not throw blocks.” Or, “You can throw your teddy bear over the couch or down the stairs. You may not throw him in the sink.”

5. Get her outside as much as possible.

My son lives to go outside. He must have some space and time to run wild every day. If you think the weather is too harsh for outdoor play, push furniture against the wall and play a vigorous game of chase or soccer (with a soft ball, of course!) with your child for a while. By the way, this has a nice side benefit of assuring that your child will be more ready to go to bed at bedtime!

I’ve found these discipline tips very helpful–if you have an active young one, I hope you do, too!
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Resources you may enjoy:

Parents kissing girl.

Bonding with family members has become a challenge in our society today, especially as children grow into their adolescent years.

“I need my space!” is a common cry in many Western families, and it comes not only from teenagers. Spouses will often say it to each other. Even if they don’t express it directly, will either think it with bitter resentment, or act on their desire to have “more space” by going out with co-workers after work instead of coming home or spending Saturdays on the golf course or at the mall.

I believe the root of this modern-day behavior is fear.

• Fear of relationships.
• Fear of getting hurt.
• Fear of not having “my way.”
• Fear of conflict.

However, families were meant to bond together. If you research so-called “primitive” peoples, bonding with family members–including extended family members crossing several generations–is a prized cultural practice. And in those societies, the elderly are looked up with great respect and taken well care of by the younger generation. There is more security and trust among family members, and resources are shared openly and generously.

How can you teach your children the importance of family ties?

The ways are many; following is a list of just a few techniques you might begin to apply.

1. Practice attachment parenting.

This is best begun when your children are infants, by spending a lot of time holding them, sleeping with them or in the same room with them, and breastfeeding. But if you got off on the wrong foot when your children were small, you can bond with older children in several ways.

1. Choose gentle and respectful methods of discipline over punitive methods (the e-book Positive Parenting Using the G.O.L.D. Standard will be especially helpful as you transition into more nurturing discipline techniques).
2. Make time every day to talk with each of your children one-on-one.
3. Listen fully to your children when they talk to you. Mute the T.V., get down on their level, and look them in the eyes.
4. Give thoughtful consideration to reasonable requests. You expect your children to respect you; do the same, and don’t automatically say no to everything that might spell inconvenience for you.

2. Insist on having dinner together as a family.

Restrict extra-curricular activities (including yours!) accordingly.

3. Plan vacations together.

If your child is as young as three and given two or three choices, she can give input as to specific activities she’d like to do in a given location. Older children may write out the pros and cons of going to the beach versus going to the Grand Canyon. When you involve your kids in deciding how you are going to spend an entire week or two together, they will feel some ownership in the trip itself and be more likely to enjoy it much more than when they are arbitrarily commanded what to do.

4. Make after supper clean-up fun.

Nothing like housecleaning for some bonding with the family! Assign every member of the household–and I mean each and every person over the age of two–a different chore every evening. These might include collecting the silverware, putting the plates in the dishwasher, scrubbing pans and wiping down counters.

Put on a CD with upbeat kid-friendly music, and play little games while everyone gets busy. For example, you might randomly shout commands such as, “Everybody tiptoe now!” Or, with older children you might play silly word games, like coming up with rhymes or “I Spy.”

Give an incentive for the entire family completing kitchen clean-up without any complaining or bickering, such as a small dessert or a funny 30-minute DVD.

Use these ideas to spark your own anti-”I need my space!” attitudes, and watch your family become happier and more loving than you ever thought possible.
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Resources you may enjoy:

As this post debuts on this blog, it is Black Friday. The day that has become–in the U.S.A.–a traditional major shopping day. A day to get deeper in debt. A day to fight crowds and long lines. A day to be inundated by all the chemical smells of new plastics and synthetic fabrics in the stores so that you go home with a headache.

A day to get sucked in by materialism and buy a bunch of stuff neither you nor your loved ones truly want or need. (But it’s on sale, so you can’t resist.)

You may argue that going shopping the day after Thanksgiving helps you burn some of the excess calories you consumed the day before. But  if your kids attend school, they have the day off, and one or both parents may have the day off as well. Why not start some new Black Friday Family Traditions that will bring your family closer together while helping to keep you in the simple living and eco-friendly vein?

Here are some ideas:

1. Spend the morning baking Christmas cookies together.

Give each family member a specific job. Even toddlers can participate by dumping pre-measured ingredients into a bowl and helping to mix. Of course, you will use (or modify) one of the recipes in Nourishing Traditions, which use pre-soaked flour and natural sweeteners…won’t you?

2. Begin decorating the house for Christmas.

If you celebrate Christmas but don’t normally put up your Christmas tree until December, pull the family together and get up the smaller decorations, such as garland on the stair rail or bowls of ornaments. If you have crafty little mice in the house, put together a simple Christmas project they can make that will subsequently hang from a doorknob, ceiling, refrigerator, etc.

3. Browse a bookstore.

If you need to get out of the house, bookstores will probably be more crowded than usual but not as frenzied as department stores. Give everyone an allowance, and take the time to help younger children to decide what book they would most enjoy over and over again.

4. Spend part of the afternoon outdoors, playing together.

Unless there’s a blizzard, ice storm, or non-stop thunderstorm, bundle everyone up as necessary and play ball in the back yard (snowball fights if you had a white Thanksgiving). Or go to a park and play some kind of tag or relay races. If you can get your neighbors to go with you, so much the better.

5. Throw a game party.

Call your kids’ friends’ parents and invite the entire families over for a game party. Knock on neighbors’ doors. Have each household bring their favorite board game, then spend two or three hours rotating between games. Have some Larabars, fruit, or healthy cookies from the morning on hand as munchies.

Use these ideas as a springboard, and create your own Black Friday Family Traditions. At the end of the day, you will be more bonded, more refreshed, and healthier–both mentally and physically–than you would by spending the day in shopping malls.
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