Are you into “natural parenting“? Do you parent according to the principles of “attachment parenting”? Regardless of your label of choice, deciding to embark on a non-mainstream parenting lifestyle means making yourself vulnerable to all of its one hundred and one challenges.
- When you choose to use cloth diapers, co-workers will call you “strange.”
- When you’re two-and-a-half year old son is still nursing, your dentist will refer to it as “bad.”
- Forbid your child to eat candy, and your neighbor may accuse you of “taking away her childhood.”
- When your four-year-old is still sleeping with you and your spouse, friends will tell you that “it’s going to ruin your marriage.”
On top of all the criticisms–whether explicit or implied–we natural parents receive, we typically have more to do because we are more health- and environment-conscious as well.
- Using cloth diapers means more laundry.
- Making all our food from scratch means less time to read or surf the Internet.
- Keeping the T.V. off requires a greater effort to keep the kids from getting bored.
I have not been a “natural parent” for very long; just a little under three years as I write this. But in that short space of time, I have learned some important lessons that I would like to pass on to anyone who feels at all overwhelmed by trying to do the natural parenting thing “right.”
With that in mind, here are four natural parenting tips that will help you to maintain your sanity.
1. Prioritize.
Accept the fact that you can’t do everything. For example, I had to give up my garden this year to initiate my online business. But because I live near grocery stores that carry organic produce, that was an easy decision to make. Had we lived out in the boonies somewhere, I may have not yet started this blog because I would have had to commit to growing our own food.
Do you homeschool three kids and try to make all your food from scratch as well as wash the laundry by hand? Are you miserable in the process? I give you permission to buy a washing machine. And/or to feed your family a “healthy” convenience meal (such as whole wheat spaghetti with jarred organic pasta sauce) two or three times a week.
2. Be a diplomat.
I’ve learned that certain answers to certain questions will provoke criticism. And I’ve learned that if I get defensive, I could cause strain in my relationships. So when you know or suspect you’re talking to someone who believes that hospital births are the safest way to bring a baby into the world, and that formula is the answer to Third-World infant malnutrition, word answers to questions in a vague, yet undeceptive way that will satisfy their curiosity.
For example, When someone asks you, “Is your baby sleeping through the night?” a not-so-good answer would be, “Uh, no, my four-month-old sleeps with us and likes to nurse several times at night.” A better answer would be, “We’re all getting plenty of rest, thanks for caring!”
When someone asks you, “Wow, three kids and your pregnant a-gain? How many you planning to have, anyway?” a not-so-good answer would be, “As many as the Lord allows.” A better answer would be, to slap the person on the face and tell them to stop asking about your sex life “Well, as soon as my husband and I figure out how all this works, we’ll let you know.”
3. Don’t major on the minors.
Say your mother started you on solids when you were five months old and wonders why Junior, at seven months, is still exclusively breastfeeding. You could do one of two things:
- Spend the next several months arguing back and forth, getting defensive, and hurting your relationship, or
- Send her links to relevant online articles and tell her you’re doing the best you can given the current scientific research, just as you are sure she did for you when you were a baby. And then drop the issue.
4. Delegate.
If you have children older than four years old in the house, they should be helping with the household chores on a daily basis. If you have at least two kids over the age of eight in the house, you should be free of at least half of the housecleaning tasks. If you do and you’re not, start training them now. As a veteran schoolteacher, I can promise you that children are more capable than we give them credit for.
Parenting is hard enough. Let these four natural parenting tips ease you of some of your burden, and help you find more peace in your day.
