The problem with learning how to start a vegetable garden is that most of the books make it sound worse than getting a root canal. So you begin the process – if you begin at all – with fear and trepidation, just knowing that if you make one slip all your hard work will go down the drain…or into a rodent’s mouth.

As I teach in my e-book Weird Gardening, starting and maintaining a vegetable garden can – and should be – a continual joy. To help you get off to a great start to growing your own food, I hereby list five common gardening mistakes to avoid.

1. Use sprays.

Any kind of spray, whether chemical or organic, will kill the helpful insects as well as the pests. So you will end up in a never-ending cycle of spraying, because you never let the good guys flourish to help you fight away the bad guys. As well, you will kill off the pollinators needed to create your cucumbers and melons.

2. Allow wildlife free access to your garden.

Unless you live in a fenced-in suburban lot or have tons of naturally-growing goodies outside your garden, you need a fence. According to some, if you put up even a relatively short fence before building the garden, deer will leave it alone because they don’t want to bother with an obstacle – even if they can jump it – when they don’t know what is inside it.

Creating a fence out of VHS tape and steel posts can frighten off most, perhaps even all, mammal pests by the way it rattles and shakes in the breeze.

3. Don’t practice companion planting.

Go ahead and plant the same varieties of the same crop all together. Don’t mix them up at all, or add any flowers or herbs to he mix. That way you will be assured of constant insect pests munching away at your bounty.

4. Never mulch.

Mulch keeps the soil underneath moister longer, reducing the need for watering. It also discourages weed growth. If you want gardening to turn into an unbearable chore, be sure that you never mulch.

5. Ignore your garden.

If you walk through your garden every day, you will catch early signs of disease and pest problems. You will also notice that cucumber or summer squash that, if left a few days too long on the vine, will turn from sweet and succulent to bitter and unpalatable.

So in order to make gardening an unhappy, unfulfilling experience, ignore it.